Butchers Banned From Using Knives [WTF]

From the utterly ridiculous file:

A butcher at Sainsbury's was banned from using knives - because of health and safety, it was claimed today.

Shopper John Wilkinson was shocked when a meat counter worker at the supermarket said he could not de-bone a joint of lamb.

The businessman claims he was told: 'My bosses won't let me - in case I cut myself and I'm not insured.'

Luckily this happened in Britain, not America, but we're slowly moving in that direction.

I understand the store's concerns over liability, but this has gone too far.

Real Life Walter Sobchak Awaits Trial [Big Lebowski]

Walter Sobchak (pictured above) is the gun wielding Vietnam vet from the Coen Brother's cult classic The Big Lebowski.

His real life doppelganger, Robert Stewart (pictured below), is awaiting trial for a shooting up a North Carolina nursing home last year.

Sometimes life imitates art in the strangest ways.

News Report Explains News Reporting

[via exposno1]

One Minute Safer

Breathe a sigh of relief. The Doomsday Clock has been set 1 minute back, putting us now 6 minutes to midnight. No, I don't know what that means.

Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won

Confidential Memo

To: All Men

Re: Operation “Feminist Movement”

Men, our long twilight struggle with the opposite sex is over. Our victory is total.

Can you believe the way things used to be? Remember when our fathers and grandfathers would drag themselves to mind-numbing jobs every day, having the sole responsibility for the feeding, clothing, and housing of their entire family?

And things were no easier before marriage, when men’s quest for sexual satisfaction was all too often hampered by the widespread moral code which taught women not to give out the “milk” for “free.”

Well, that state of affairs just wouldn’t do. So we men came together and did what we do best — formulate and implement a plan. First step, design the perfect world, the perfect male world. We decided such a world would consist of two things: less responsibility and more — and no-strings — sex.

Brothers, have we succeeded.

Billboard Fail

The live Twitter feed on the billboard seemed like such a good idea. The general manager and news director of WPMI, the NBC affiliate, have been suspended.

Coolest Thing: Let's See a Robot Do THIS

I guess some of us still have an advantage over those metallic beasts. By "some of us" I mean not me.

[via Gizmodo]

News Gangster Rap